Friday, January 28, 2005

Just Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

I will be cavorting with my children this weekend and sadly will not have time to update the status of my bowel movements, my mucous production or the results of my cremaster exercises (although I will tell you that I’m doing the latter as I write this and if you find a man with a stronger cremaster than me, you tell him Danny Evans wants to challenge him to a duel).

It occurs to me, however, that you all know so much about me --- too much, by the standards of common decency --- and I know jack squat about you. To remedy the lopsidedness of our relationship, I’d like everyone who visits the site to answer the following questionnaire in the comments section (Note: some of the questions are me-centric, but this is my fucking site and if you don’t like it I’ll FedEx you my ass and you can kiss it).

1) Name/URL
2) Do I know you? If so, how?
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble?
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most?
5) How many times do you defecate each day?
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose?
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.)
8) What do you drink at Starbucks?
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!).

68 Comments:

At 2:35 PM, Blogger jakobsmaid said...

1. Melissa
2. No
3. Carol Brady :(
4. Oscar the grouch
5. Almost never
6. Of course, everyone does
7. Behind Every Good Man is a woman.......
8. Mocha Latte
9. I am the 1st!
10. I look forward to reading your posts daily and always laugh so hard I almost pee my pants!

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger katie said...

1. katie: www.katieduane.com
2. nope
3. molly ringwald
4. oscar
5. 0-1?
6. when i need to
7. i havent read any, i was reading friends blog and i clicked the "next blog" button and yours came up.
8. i dont often to go starbucks because i dont like coffee and their hot coco isnt very good.
9. she was honest.
10. i think that your idea of putting this in your blog is funny.

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Taya said...

1) Taya - http://sweetverve.blogspot.com2) You don't know me. I'd just one of your internet stalker drones.
3) Sinead O-Connor, if I were bald and could sing.
4) The Count von Count. He turns me on.
5) I defecate continuously.
6) All the time. I'm a flicker, too. Used to be a smearer, but now I'm a flicker.
7) I absolutely love Things They Don’t Tell You About In Childbirth Classes Because You’d Puke8) I'm too cheap to go to Starbucks. I drink tap water.
9) Melissa is a pretty name.
10) Your writing is awesome. And you're awesome too, especially given the Jew factor.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Taya said...

Dammit, I'm too slow. I'm sorry, Katie.
KATIE IS A PRETTY NAME TOO.

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger honestyrain said...

1) Name/URL: well if you don't know by now...
2) Do I know you? If so, how?: in that i know you from the internet way, from down the blogspot block
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble?: me...were you not aware of my celebrity status?
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most?: you'll have to buy me a drink to find out
5) How many times do you defecate each day?: none, i find it inappropriate for someone of my stature
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose?: duh
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.): i was not aware there would be a quiz and so have not kept notes and cannot answer this question
8) What do you drink at Starbucks?: hot chocolate, i don't drink coffee, coffee is for losers
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you.: well since you don't have haloscan i can't see who posted before me but i will say that i think they are lovely and smell good but i wonder when last they combed their hair....
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!): you write well and i think you should stop fooling around and start making serious money at it.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger drawdawn said...

1) Name/URL drawdawn
2) Do I know you? If so, how? no
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? I've been told Sandra Bullock. But I think at the time it was just the hair. Unfortunately.
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? Big Bird?
5) How many times do you defecate each day? once if I'm lucky
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? sometimes
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) I like so many it is hard to pick just one favorite!
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? Have never ordered a drink at Starbucks.
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. I'm a slow commenter, the last person I checked was honestyrain and she is a great friend who helps me stay sane.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). I think you're a funny funny guy, and I'm waiting for the Dan Evans book to come out. Can I get it signed when it does? thanks.

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger  said...

1) i choose to remain anonymous for now / http://so-bittersweet.blogspot.com
2) you don't know me :)
3) hmm none really. guess thats why i'm not famous. although i do have the almost hooked nose and flaring nostrils and faint dusting of freckles like neve campbell..small eyes too. ok so i resemble her quite a bit but she's better somehow :P
4) you know those lil aliens that dont talk and are all rainbowy colored with long lil tentacle sort of things and they waver into site and make funny noises and then waver out again ... yeah thats me.
5) 3 times at the msot
6) yes, but i try not to be too gross about it ...if thats possible. and i never leave it things other ppl need to touch cos thats so fucking sick.
7) n/a
8) grande caramel macchiato
9) honestly, i didnt read what all they wrote...i scrolled down quickly to comment .. altho someone up there defecates constantly and flicks their snots around
10) i dont have anything to say about you yet. this is my first visit and the first entry i read. feel free to fedex me your ass for kissing ;)

 
At 5:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Name/URL Sarah: http://www.spunmonkey.com
2) Do I know you? If so, how? Nope
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? I don't
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? The Count
5) How many times do you defecate each day? 1
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? in private
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) I liked the earlier ones most I think...the one with the new carpet was funny.
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? Chai Creme Frap
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. I don't know you, but I am in agreement, Danny can Fedex me his ass to kiss too.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). You're really funny, I particularly like the way you give names to people, the dog in particular. I've started doing the same thing, but in real life, not my blog :-p

 
At 5:30 PM, Blogger alyssa j said...

1. Alyssa/haplys.blogspot.com
2. You do not know me.
3. My mother just told me a young Meryl Streep. That's news to me.
4. Cookie Monster.
5. Depends on how much sugar free chocolate I've eaten.
6. Relentlessly.
7. The Mouse Incident
8. If I'm off Atkins, Venti Quad Iced Caramel Macchiato.
9. Your site has pictures of Phillips Exeter. Are you from MA? I am.
10. You're hilarious.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Rootietoot said...

1.http://southernmother.blogspot.com They call me Mother.
2.no
3.Theda Barra
4.Grover
5.once, at 9:30 am, give or take a few minutes
6.of course, but I don't eat them, and never in public.
7.The sesame street one. I showed it to my kids and they were appalled.
8. plain coffee, grande
9.excellent taste in reading
10.your breath is minty fresh, your choice of footware creative, and anyone who publicly calls his wife Hot is ok to me.

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger ck said...

1) ck, http://clk221.blogspot.com
2) nope; in the words of one deborah gibson, "only in my dreams"
3) i have been told bridget fonda and the lead singer from portishead, beth gibbons
4) bert...he's pretty anal (and not just with ernie...har, har, har)
5) normally once per day, in the morning, after my morning chai and catching up on my blog reading (you all bring out the best in me; and i'm sure you're grateful for my detailed account)
6) i'd be lying if i said i never participate in that activity.
7) i have three: the evans method (the 1st entry that got me hooked on your site; i stumbled upon it from a comment you left on dooce), the ho depot, and your break up letter with your hair gel.
8) tall non-fat chai latte
9) thanks for introducing me to a chai variation...i had never heard of a chai creme frap. monday morning, i'm there!
10) mr. evans, i have never "met" anyone who can make nosepicking sound like a forgotten art form, and for that, i am grateful.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger ~eve~ said...

1. none of your business/aletterunsent.blogspot.com
2. Not in the slightest.
3. Gillian Anderson
4. Snuffy (as I used to be called Sneffy when I was a child)
5. Once or less.
6. I have (shut up).
7. How to Dismantle a Jewish Newborn's Penis. I giggled at that for like hours. Then I forgot about it and remebered it the next day, and giggled for a few more hours.
8. Chai Latte.
9. Excellent taste in Starbucks beverages.
10. I think reading your blog is the only thing that gets me though my work day, the laughter your bring me is compounded by the mirth I feel when my co-workers look at me like I'm an idiot because I'm trying not to laugh outloud.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Miranda said...

1) Miranda momuniverse.blogspot.com
2) No, I found you through joeinvegas.blogspot.com
3) I used to get confused for Ally Sheedy in high school a lot.
4) Probably Snuffy. I always felt a little slow and dull witted.
5) Once.
6) You'll have to Fed-Ex your ass to Michigan for me to kiss for this one. ;)
7) I enjoyed the one about your son yanking his penis out for everyone to see. I have one of those at home too.
8) Venti black Sumatra
9) I like the font the person in front of me used and the post, well, it flowed. (Sorry, I'm remedial English tutor - its what a lot of my students say when they have to critique each other and I just have to get it out sometimes.)
10) This stuff makes me laugh so hard I snort. Ergo, beverages and this blog are henceforth banned from sharing the same desk space.

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger amy said...

1) "AMY" / http://mindlessobserver.blogspot.com/
2) Nope. We've never met.
3) When Kirstie Alley was thin and on CHEERS, or so I was told.
4) Snuffleufagus
5) Once, maybe twice, depends on what I eat.
6) Everyone picks their nose.
7) The childbirth one....
8) I live in the prairie in South Dakota, have yet to set foot in a Starbucks.
9) They have good writing skills.
10) You have an imaginative writing style that I am so in lust with and you make me giggle late at night.

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Shira said...

1) Chantal - arish.deviantart.com
2) You don't know me but I know more about you than is decent
3) I don't look like anyone famous but anonymity suits me just fine
4) Grover. He's so funny and sweet
5) 1-2
6) Not in public (anymore)
7) My favourites that I can remember are the childbirth, the bris and the "behind every man is a strong woman"
8) Medium coffee, but I have to make sure I don't go within eyeshot of all my lefty friends from university, they hate american corporations with no fair-trade coffee
9) She has good taste in sesame street characters (Snuffy rules)
10) You are the funniest man alive and should take Dave Barry's place now that he's retired from newspaper column-writing

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger Closet Metro said...

1) Name/URL Dave, aka Closet Metro. http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/
2) Do I know you? If so, how? We have never met.
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? In the early years of "Friends," people used to say that I looked like "Chandler, the one everyone thinks is gay."
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? Cookie Monster
5) How many times do you defecate each day? once or twice
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? An occasional booger nugget excavation is necessary, and pleasant.
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) One? I only get one? Screw that, I make my own rules. Tie between "Industrial Rev." "Dismantle a penis" and "Total Shitwad."
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? Mocha or latte.
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. She has a great smile. (Or at least half of one. The other half is hiding in the pic on her blog.)
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). "Play Freebird!" (You totally fucking rock.)

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Lexagirl said...

1. Lexagirl @ www.lexablog.blogspot.com
2. Nope.
3. Kelly McGillis - what ever happened to her?
4. Gotta go with Super Grover.
5. Depends on my bran intake.
6. Yes but in a very ladylike and sophisticated way...
7. Playing Taps – made me snort a bit while laughing.
8. In Alberta we call Starbucks "Tim Hortons" and I just have a large double double to go please...
9. He leaves good comments and he LOVES “Freebird.”
10.I have said if before and I'll say it again - you write a mean list... and of course are incredibly funny.

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger Elle said...

1) ellen/http://ellebelle.blogspot.com
2) nope, but you commented on my site once
3) daria morgendorfer
4) oscar the grouch
5) perhaps once
6) of course
7) new underpants
8) soy mocha latte
9) she has a cute dog
10) you make me laugh so hard i nearly pee myself on a regular basis

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger stinky296 said...

1) Abby/no URL, I prefer lurking to creating
2) No. I am vehemently East Coastal. I never visit the left side of the country where you seem to spend most of your time.
3) Harpo Marx
4) Barkley the dog. Shaggy. Jumps around a lot. Then naps. He and I hang out.
5) 0.5 dumps/day. I’m more of an every other day girl, if I’m lucky and have been eating my vegetables.
6) Lots. My recently acquired nose stud confined my picking to one nostril for a while, but I’m mostly healed up now and am back to double picking.
7) anything about poop.
8) I brew my coffee at home to save money for movie rentals and tickets.
9) Dear Elle: I share your appreciation for the following: sad old bastard music, the phrase “sad old bastard music”, out of the way places in libraries, rainboots. I loved my 4 years in Maine going to Bowdoin. I’m glad you’re keeping it real at USM.
10) Your alternating between mushiness and bad-assness keeps me highly entertained.

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Mrs.Strizzay said...

1) Name/URL : Mrs.Strizzay..click on my name for my BLOG
2) Do I know you? If so, how? : No
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? : I look the red headed chick from Taxi, or so I have been told. She isn't a dog or anything.
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? : Jeez, has to be Oscar.
5) How many times do you defecate each day? : Usually once every other day or so, and I speed poo..woohoo!
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? : Uh, yeah...especially when I am in my car.
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) : I like 9.9 of them so I can't narrow it down anymore.
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? : FUCK NO
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. : Seriously, I stopped reading them after HonestyRains..but she is cool.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). : Umm...thinking....umm....your site is very amsuing and seriously if I was to read a blog turned into a book yours would be the first one on my list, and I'm not just saying that.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Harry said...

1. Harry http://wayfareingstranger.blogspot.com/


2. That's possible; reading what one writes can be revealing, somewhat.


3. Robert Duvall would be insulted, were I to say aloud.


4. Animal (the drummer)


5. Zero to one.


6. Of course.


7. Which month?


8. Nothing at all, after standing in line and staring up at the board, realizing all the items were unpronouncable, so in a panic, asked for what the pilot before me had.


9. Okay. They spell fairly well.


10. Okay. You spell better.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Lola said...

1. Lola (yeah right) and you know my URL Fever. You know it well!

2. Only in the way one deviant blogger can know another.

3. I look like me. I'm special and unique like that.

4. Oscar the Grouch

5. 0 - 1

6. Everyone does. If they say they don't the are damnable liars.

7. What Part of “Keep Your Penis Out Of Other Peoples’ Faces” Didn’t You Understand?

8. I gave up Starbucks but I used to drink a Venti Vanilla Latte with an extra shot of expresso and and extra squirt of vanilla with 3 yellows (Splenda).

9. The answer to number 8 made me laugh. Laughing is good.

10. The way you write about your children touches me and amuses me all at the same time.

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger Rachael said...

1) Rachael http://rainbowfish.blogs.com
2) Nope
3) Me - I'm a celebrity in my own mind
4) Snuffy - shy, sweet, quiet, and goshdarn loveable
5) once if I'm lucky
6) Only when I'm alone
7) The Childbirth entry was pretty awesome
8) Vanilla Cream
9) I can only assume that he's a very handsome person
10) You rock my socks off

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Rachael said...

Damn, I took too long! Lola, I do not think you are a man. I'm sure you are the most beautiful woman on God's green earth.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

1) Sarah http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com
2) I don't think we've ever met.
3) I've been told Angelica Houston at times, and Edie Brickell when I was a hippie chick.
4) My favorite Sesame St. character is Grover, without a doubt, but if you mean which one do I RELATE to most, then I guess Grover when he's waiting tables.
5) About once every other day.
6) Dude. Everyone picks their nose. You have to.
7) I haven't been reading your site all that long, but so far the 'Nice night for an exorcism' made me laugh the loudest and hardest.
8) Medium coffee. I refuse to say 'grande' when it is a fucking medium. I also love how they look at me like, WTF? why are you just getting regular coffee?
9) Don't know her, but I bet she's hot.
10) You are one funny motherfucker and I would come over there and kiss your ass if it wasn't for the fact that I think your wife might have a problem with it.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Modern Day Hermit said...

1.) Jenn D.2.) Nope
3.) none
4.) Cookie Monster
5.) once
6.) sometimes
7.) What they don't tell you..."8.) Used to drink Tazo Berry with Creme, not sure if they have them any longer.
9.) funny
10.) fucking hilarious - really.

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger DyingBurningFighting said...

1) Name/URL: Keegan / www.dyingburningfighting.blogspot.com or www.dyingburningpoetry.blogspot.com or
www.dyingburningcomplaining.blogspot.com or
www.xanga.com/dyingburningfighting

2) Do I know you? If so, how? Nope, we've never met.

3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? I've been told that Brendan Fraser looks like me.

4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? I'll have to go with Super Grover

5) How many times do you defecate each day? Anywhere from 0 to 2

6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? Never! (when anyone's looking that is)


7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) The House on Poop Corner, Your first sexual experience, and any time you kill Barney

8) What do you drink at Starbucks? I work at a cafe (not Starbuck's) where I get coffe for free. I drink whatever I need, but I like a double latte with a shot of vanilla and two shots of peppermint.

9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. She looks cute in her profile pic.

10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). "Something nice about me." There, I said it and all the people at the library (where I get online) are looking at me funny.

 
At 1:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Name/URL: Amy :) Hi, I don't have a site. I just read you and some other blogs.
2) Do I know you? If so, how? Nope, you don't know me, but I'm a cool chick.
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? : Err...ummm, I really don't know, but just for shits and giggles, let's say Julia Roberts
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? Cookie Monster.
5) How many times do you defecate each day? Once...sometimes none.
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? Of course! Everyone does. Q-Tips work really well for that too.
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.): I think I was the most amused about the whole Barney spiel awhile back.
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? : This is embarrassing. I always want to go there, but I'm afraid to butcher the pronunciation, so I just go to Quik Trip for a Carmel Steamer.
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. : You're hot.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). : You're hilarious. :)

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger john said...

1. john M: deeproastedflavor.blogspot.com
2. You do not know me.
3. I wish I resembled Keanu Reeves, if only because the
masturbation would be that much sweeter (I'm gay,
so, ya know...)
4. Cookie Monster. He's blue and he loves cookies. What
more could you ask for?
5. Usually 2 or 3. What with being a vegan and all...
6. Pick my nose? Uh, yeah.
7. Fave post: Honestly, a recent one, wherein you spent
an afternoon in your attic trying to get the HDTV
signal. Fucking hysterical.
8. Soy latte with a Valencia shot.
9. Huge tits.
10. I like your style.

 
At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) g
2) no. i ended up here via dooce a few weeks back. i like your comments there.
3) a younger sigourney weaver, or so i have been told.
4) mr. snuffalufagus
5) at least once.
6) of course.
7) What Part of “Keep Your Penis Out Of Other Peoples’ Faces” Didn’t You Understand?
8) grande nonfat extra-hot latte.
9) cool blog url, john.
10) i look forward to your blog posts. you make me laugh.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Carrie said...

1) Carrie http://life_or_trauma.typepad.com/boo/
2) Nope
3) Anna Chlumsky in appearance, when she was younger
4) the Count
5) Good Lord, is nothing sacred?
6) Nope
7) I'm not here often enough but the one sticking in my mind is the toilet one when the whole family was knocking while you were trying to go number 2. LOL
8) Tall Caramel Macchiatto, about 3 times a year. Regularly visit Tim Hortons for good Canadian coffee ;-) where I enjoy a Medium Regular Coffee
9) You look Mahvelous!
10) You're too damn funny for colour tv!

 
At 9:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) amy | riotkittyn.livejournal.com - not even half as witty as you...
2) No, I wish. I found you through some comment on mediabistro
3) Darlene from 'Roseanne'
4) Oscar b/c I like him the best, Cookie Monster b/c I can't stop eating.
5) Once usually, more if I've had something weird to eat.
6) I do indeed. But I don't dig way up there in public.
7) Get Out of My House, 12/19/04
8) Hot chocolate. I don't drink coffee, but I do love the smell of Hazelnut...
9) Carrie likes the Count. So I like Carrie. Have you ever heard the Count sing about his first day of school?
10) Danny, you are so witty and so charming. I adore your prose. Now post a damn familiy portrait.

 
At 5:46 AM, Blogger Jacqueline said...

1)Jacquelne/ runningtoscream.blogspot.com
2)You do not know me
3)Karen from Will & Grace as far as attitude...no one physically
4)Oscar the Grouch
5)Usually just once.
6)LoL...nope
7)The House At Poop Corner
8)Chocolate Milk?
9)They like Hot Chocolate...this is good
10)You constantly entertain me.

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger The Macek Collective said...

1) www.themacekcollective.blogspot.com
2) No, but you occasionally play along on my wortless webshite
3) Elvis - a bloated, Percocet-filled, Elvis.
4) By associate, do you mean personally or professionally?
5) At least once. Depends on how much cofee.
6) Fuck yeah. And I drop the boogies behind my couch
7) An open letter to my hair gel
8) overpriced coffee that just ain't strong enough
9) At least it's a woman on top of me
10) You have very nice penmanship

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Im A Foto Nut said...

1) http://incurablesavant.blogspot.com/
2) No Sir
3) I am always told I look exactly like the Incurable Savant. To which I respond, I get that alot.
4) Elmo is F'nA cool!
5) Maybe once, maybe not at all, go figure?
6) All the way to my knuckle, and all day long.
7) Behind every man, and Childbirth
8) Water, cause cofee SUX!!
9) Dude, vaccum behind your sofa!!!! That's not really nice, but neither is flicking them behind the sofa, its so gross I damn near hulred.
10) YOU ROCK!

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger The Lioness said...

1) http://lioness-pride.blogspot.com/
2) You wish
3) The Pink Panther
4) Don't remember much of it but don't think I'd ASSOCIATE w any of them. They're not real, you know...
5) Why are Anglos poop-obsessed??? Once a day mostly, do you really care?
6) I blow it
7) The childbirth one
8) We don't have Starbucks but I'd still drink Coke, don't like coffee
9) Some of my best friends are autistic
10)Your blog title is brilliant

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Lala said...

1) Lauren http://lalawawa.blogspot.com
2) Only by my posts but you love me, you SAID you love me!
3) Annette Benning but younger
4) Animal, the drummer
5) Once if I'm lucky
6) Yep, there's stuff in there that NEEDS to come out
7) That's a good question, I've been with you almost since the start so I've seen them all.I'll reread everything and get back to you.
8) Grande Toffee nut frappucinno
9) The Lioness is the most supportive and fascinating friend. I love her.
10) You make me laugh so hard I poop myself

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger The Strawberry Princess said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger The Strawberry Princess said...

1. thestrawberryprincess.blogspot.com
2. You do not know me. I was referred to you by
Deep Roasted Flavor's blog today.
3. Drew Barrymore or Cyndi Lauper
4. I have no fucking clue.
5. Once? I have never kept track.
6. Who doesn't every now and then? Don't you
hate when people answer a question with another
question?
7. This is the only one I've ever read
8. We don't have Starbucks where I live. Can you
believe that?
9. You seem cool. I'll check out your blog.
10.You have a lot of friends!

 
At 11:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Brett/ spaces.msn.com/members/bobthecow
2) Nope - waaayyyyyyyy too far away
3) Booger from Revenge of the Nerds
4) Snuffy :)
5) As often as humanly possible
6) Oh baby yes!
7) Probably the one about Hot Wifes barfing technique/soundeffects!
8) Nada
9) I love strawberries :)
10) You really really really make me laff. Its nice to see someone being really honest about human bodily functions :)

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger Jenn said...

1. Click my name
2. No Sir
3. Lassie
4. Ernie, he never sleeps
5. I'll count tommorrow
6. Yes
7. Too many to post, but just about ALL of them
8. Caramel Frapuccino, extra caramel
9. He/She's very hott
10.You fuckin' rock!

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger sevans said...

1) Hot Wife
2) I'll say you do. I appears that I am the only one around here that you know. I think friends and family are too embarrassed to tell you that they pick their nose.
3) I recently had my hair cut and the hair dresser styled it like Farah Fawcet from the Charlie Angels era. So her. But only for one day. It's all about the hair.
4) Elmo. I always refer to myself by name, Hot Wife. Plus every kid loves Elmo.
5) Every other day or so.
6) Do you really have to ask? Of course.
7) The anniversary love letter to me, naturally.
8) Gingerbread latte. Mmmmmm.
9) He/she (I don't remember the gender) is really smart because he/she said something nice about you.
10) I could say so many things. First of all, I agree with all the number 10's before me, especially the one about making money from your writing because you are that good. Plus, you are the most loving and caring person I know. I thank my lucky stars that you are my husband and the father of our children. You're the man, honey. (But I still where the pants in the family.)

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Toad said...

1.) Toad -- http://talkingtoad.blogspot.com/
2.) Nope, I happened across your sight thru none other than the famous Dooce.
3.) No one. I'm my own person.
4.) Oscar the Grouch.
5.) Once a week, on a good week that is.
6.) Nope, well maybe a little bit.. Nope not at all.
7.) Probably the vasectomy story.. I'm trying really hard to get my hubby to get it done, and posts like those DO NOT HELP!
8.) I have NEVER been to a Starbucks. So shoot me.
9.) She's hot, cause of course she is your wife.
10.) You are a very talented writer that has me in stitches most mornings.

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Kelly Hanson said...

1. Kelly http://moreadventures.blogspot.com
2. no
3. Jamie Gertz (doctor chick in Twister)/Sella Ward/Gloria Estafan
4. Ernie
5. 2 times a week if lucky and taking colace
6. well....okay..
7. The Weighting is the Hardest Part
8. Nothing. No Starbucks in Germany. When I lived in Seattle, I drank the double tall mocha with extra whipped cream and nutmeg sprinkles.
9. Gotta love a Dooce lover
10. Colorful writing. I laugh out loud comiserating with you.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Shiz said...

1) Shiz2) You don't know me.
3) I've been told Kellie Martin and Claire Danes but are longshots.
4) Associate with? I don't hang out with Sesame Street characters. I'm kinda like Grover, though. And he is my favourite.
5) It varies from 1 to 5. Usually 3 or 4.
6) Hell yes.
7) "Everything's Coming Up Barney", "Careful, Sweetheart. You’re Sitting on Santa’s Testicles" and "Exit Strategy".
8) Tall decaf non-fat sugar-free-vanilla latte.
9) Kelly sure is a mean dresser.
10) Your writing has style, and your wit is sharp and on-target.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Laura said...

1) Laura www.camacho.tv
2) Nope
3) The girl who played Murran in Braveheart
4) Erm...never really watched it. Grew up without TV and muppets scared my older brother.
5) Once or twice
6) Of course! With my thumb, palm up.
7) Bongwater Porkfat Zaboomafoo
8) toffee nut mocha
9) don't know her!
10) You're very funny - often funnier when not indulging in bathroom humor - it makes you work harder.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Lorrian said...

1) Lorrian/www.designsbylorrian.com
2) Nope - found you via a comment you posted at the fabulous Dooce's blog.
3) Valerie Bertinelli
4) Elmo!
5) When I need to
6) Yup (blush)
7) The Ho Depot. We Can Do You. You Can Help
8) Venti Soy Chai Latte (when I'm feeling good) and Grande Mocha (when I NEED chocolate)
9) Cute dogs! (fun blog, too, Laura)
10) Your kids and Hot Wife are lucky to have you in their lives. We're lucky that you write about it all!

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger garnet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:46 PM, Blogger garnet said...

1) regina - blogaddict04.blogspot.com

2) Nope

3) Tia Carrera... Except I'm short, nowhere near as hot and definitely don't have boobs like that. And you'd have to be squinting really, really hard.

4) Elmo. I'm always asking questions and hyped up on caffeine. And I make noises when poked and hugged.

5) Just once.

6) Only in the privacy of my bathroom.

7) Too many to count.

8) Soy chai latte, soy vanilla latte or sweetened iced coffee

9) Nice blog.

10) You're hilarious! I wish my writing were 1/2 as interesting, amusing and descriptive.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

1. http://joeinvegas.blogspot.com/
2. No
3. Bill Gates (tummy and all, but not the $$$)
4. Elmo
5. At least once
6. Yes
7. Barney Barney Barney
8. Standard mid size Mocha Valencia
9. Tia Carrera - only better. And nice puctuation. And she made it through 49 other posts.
10. Great stories. Glad I don't have your kids.

 
At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Sarah; I'm not technologically advanced enough for URL
2) Unfortunately, no
3) I've had people tell me I look like Natalie Merchant and Jenine Garaffalo
4) I'm like Cookie Monster but with beer
5) At least once, praise the lord
6) Of course I do
7) The one about the left handed hitter flicking his penis. It made me cry
8) Coffee, plain coffee. Though I grudgingly have to add cream to their coffee cuz their coffee sucks.
9) He seems to be pro-Kerry according to the political rantings on his blog.
10) I think I have a crush on you, Dr. Johnny Fever, what with all the poop talk and the booger talk and good times you've given me.

 
At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Joanna
2) No
3) People say Julianne Moore/Gillian Anderson
4) Hmm. What was that dude's name who couldn't remember anything? I forget.
5) Once, if I'm lucky.
6) Yep. but only if my finger is wrapped in a tissue.
7) The one you wrote to your wife on your 8-year anniversary.
8) Nothing. their coffee sucks, is bitter, oily and overpriced.
9) I really like the name Sarah.
10) Your stories rock.

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger Neurotic Grad Student said...

1. Neurotic Grad Student
2. No, you don't know me.
3. One of my best friend's says I look like Helen Hunt with dark hair. I think I look like Lisa Loeb. Mostly because I'm not 84 years old like Helen Hunt.
4. I am on Cookie Monster's side. Cookies are good.
5. Once or twice.
6. I pick my nose when I am sick and stuff gets stuck in there.
7. I'm a big fan of the stories of the kids and when they are tortured. Burn, Barney, Burn was an absolute gem.
8. Decaf coffee. I'm so lame.
9. You make me interested in this Sesame Street character who forgets things. I don't even know who that is and I feel like I should look it up.
10. I love the way you make mundane events like going to Starbucks interesting and amusing. It's a great skill. Thanks for sharing it with us.

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1) Nikki
2)Nope
3) I am a tall, thin blonde, so i hear a new one every day, last one was a 'blonde haired blue eyed norah jones? huh?
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? i guess kermit, but i don't know why.
5) How many times do you defecate each day? once or twice
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? yup
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) love the one about the phone sex call and the sesame street character insertion
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? venti caramel macchiato
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. i can't see it!
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). you make me laugh out loud

 
At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry, i checked the previous post. anyone who loves cookies is cool in my book.

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger tokitikki said...

1) Toki http://tokitikki.blogdrive.com
2) Do I know you? If so, how? No, unfortunately for you :)
3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble? Tina Fey
4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most? Oscar the Grouch
5) How many times do you defecate each day? once? maybe twice.
6) Be honest: do you pick your nose? ick, no, I have ocd...no dirty hands
7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.) don't make me choose just one!
8) What do you drink at Starbucks? Grande six-pump Tazo Chai, soy milk, no extra water.
9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you. it's good to know so much about so many random people, including you, person who posted before me.
10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!). YOU ROCK! I read sporadically, but I devour ALL posts I've missed, so I miss nothing regarding your bowel movements, clenching cheeks, etc. I "heart" danny evans

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Amanda B. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger Amanda B. said...

1.Amanda B./ www.veryzen.blogspot.com
2.You may know me as a monkey from dooce.com
3.Ashley Judd (or so people say...i always thought I looked like Abe Vigoda...but whatever)
4.Telly
5.2 on a productive day
6.Maybe
7.Ummmm...this is only my third visit, so I'm not sure. sorry.
8.Caramel Frappacino w/an extra shot of expresso
9.The person who posted before me is a f'n ROCK STAR.
10.You are silly.

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger Randy said...

1) Randy/ http://rblog.thebowmans.us/
2) No
3) David Spade, unfortuanetly (small, skinny, and geeky)
4) Bert (straight-laced, incapable of having fun)
5) I'm gluten intolerant, so if I eat wheat: 6-10, but if I follow my diet, then 1-2
6) Yes, several times an hour. I then place my boogers under seats and under tables to dry up and get really crusty.
7) The one where you told your daughter you killed Barney...
8) Gingerbread Latte with an extra shot or espresso (during the holidays) otherwise, a triple espresso
9) She is a great photographer.
10) I love your boldness. You just lay it out there with no regard to what others think. While I think most of the world is stupid and needs to be told that they are, I live in fear and do not let them know what I think. You however, are your own man, with your own opinions, and could careless what people think. You just rock!!!

 
At 4:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Jennifer
2. Not likely
3. ET
5. Once, maybe twice
6. Yes, and I like to too :(
7. All of them
8. Water
9. He's good in bed
10. You have a hot wife

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Liz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous julie said...

1.julie
2.no
3.scarlett johansson after a terrible disfiguring accident, and the ensuing comfort eating... in a bad light, that is ;)
4.Ernie!
5.1?
6.To a professional standard...
7.another "next blog" clicker, but I liked the U2 digestion fiasco...
8.probably a cold non coffee fruity thing?
9.Liz is unknowable...
10.funny as fuck blogger, up to this point anyway (I am reading it backwards....)

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger H said...

1) Name/URL
Alex Ludd

2) Do I know you? If so, how?
Probably. I ran for president.

3) What celebrity do you most closely resemble?
Mel Gibson.

4) What Sesame Street character do you associate with most?
The Count.

5) How many times do you defecate each day?
4

6) Be honest: do you pick your nose?
That was what brought me here.

7) What is your favorite Human Writes entry? (This information will be used to assemble a Human Writes starter kit for newbies to the site.)
This one. It's the only one I've seen.

8) What do you drink at Starbucks?
Coffee.

9) Say something nice about the person who posted before you.
She's courageous enough to admit she relates to Ernie.

10) Say something nice about me (because this is my site and without me you’d be nothing. Do you hear me? NOTHING!
I found your blog by doing a booger search.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger doer said...

Hello, just visited your blog, it's informative. I also have a better sex life related website, hope that it is useful to you

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger Couch Potato said...

Help me Dude, I'm lost.

I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw Elvis in the supermarket yesterday.

No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new plasmatv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a plasma tv .

Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger then I'm gonna go home and ask Michael Jackson to come round and watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on my new plasma tv .

And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

"You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on "

Strange day or what? :-)

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger sleepwalk resources said...

Build a free girl just wanna have fun blog! New free wordpress blogs with instant activation and set up. Join the free blogging evolution today and visit Clubblogs.com

 
At 12:06 AM, Blogger Plasma TElevision Center said...

Hi thanks for your blog, I liked it! I also have a blog/site about Plasma Television that covers Plasma Television related stuff. Please feel free to visit.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Have you seen any information on as seen on tv coupon ? I just have not had the best results when blog surfing today. Anywho back to my endless search for as seen on tv coupon .

 

Post a Comment

<< Home