Monday, December 20, 2004

The Tall, Thin Man and His Stupid Metal Stick

The following events may or may not have occurred on a golf course in Southern California today. If they did, they probably involved me. If they didn’t, that would be really, really weird because I was playing golf today and this is what I saw.

There is a ball. There is a metal stick. There is a hole in the ground, about six inches deep. There is a tall, thin man.

The ball is nine feet from the hole in the ground. The tall, thin man is holding the metal stick. The tall thin man is trying to hit the ball with the metal stick just hard enough that it rolls right into the hole in the ground.

The tall, thin man hits the ball with the metal stick. The ball rolls along the grass. It looks like it is rolling too fast. Yes, it is definitely rolling too fast. Slow down, ball. Slow the fuck down.

The ball rolls right past the hole in the ground. When the ball finally stops, it is farther from the hole in the ground than it was when the tall, thin man hit it with the metal stick.

The tall, thin man is not happy. This same scenario has occurred repeatedly all day long. It is clearly the medal stick’s fault. Stupid stick. Bad, bad stick.

The tall, thin man throws the metal stick as far as he can.

The tall, thin man storms off in a huff. He stops in an area of thick brush. He unzips his pants. He pees, right there in front of God and Neighbor Jimbo and everyone.

As he pees, the tall, thin man wonders how he will finish his round without his metal stick.


At 5:30 AM, Blogger honestyrain said...

i thought you were going to watch tv on vacation. what are you doing outside doing outisdey things?

At 7:30 AM, Blogger Mrs.Strizzay said...

men and their sticks....sigh

At 8:06 AM, Blogger Angry Orange said...

I thought you were going to watch tv too... because you are good at it... unlike golf... or at least putting.

At 8:31 PM, Blogger Lola said...

What is wrong with you? Being outside with your sticks and all.

At 4:03 AM, Blogger heather said...

Man, stick, balls, hole...this is turning into a poro site.

At 8:27 AM, Blogger HDawg said...

The tall, not-so-thin man i married actually needs to LIVE next to a golf course so that he can periodically scream and yell about the sticks and holes after sneaking onto the course to play a few after the last players are done. Jeez!
Glad to catch up on the blog, D. You rock!!!!


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