Tuesday, November 02, 2004

America The Pitiful

I got to McPherson Magnet Middle School at 6:55 this morning and found a line of about 40 people. I spotted Neighbor Tom, a cinematographer and ardent Kerry supporter, in the middle of the line. Tom and I chatted for a minute about the big shit sandwich we’d all have to eat if Bush wins, and then I decided to retreat to the back of the line, lest a riot start over my taking cuts and I end up talking to Sheppard Smith on Fox News Channel tonight instead of putting ointment on my swollen bunghole.

Shortly after I retreated to the end of the line, a blue-haired old woman with super flabby skin on her triceps came out of the cafeteria and announced that there was a problem. The voter log from a city 20 miles away had been delivered to our polling place in error. We would have to wait until the proper log was delivered.

“I want a refund!” I hollered.

Half of those waiting to vote mumbled dirty words to themselves and left, presumably because living in a country where our leader elects to bomb the shit out of people for no good reason is not as bad as being 10 minutes late for work.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself in the cafeteria, where 20 cardboard polling booths were arranged. As I waited for my turn to cast a ballot, the old man behind me was trying to read the cafeteria menu board to his wife. I will remember a lot about this campaign season, but my favorite moment – by a mile – was the gift of listening to this man try to pronounce the word “entrée.”

“Look up there, hun,” he said, pointing his wrinkled old finger at the menu. “It says there that today’s entry is chicken nuggets. Shoot, when I was a boy, the old entray we ever got was bread and mashed taters. Now they little’ns get all kinds of different entries.”

Clearly a Bush man.


At 9:17 AM, Blogger HDawg said...

Call the attorneys! call michael moore! when the good-ole-boys show up to the polls at 6:55 am, we're SCREWED! love, your fellow Democrats in hawaii

At 4:41 PM, Blogger honestyrain said...

i'll make a list for the riot shopping trip but let's do hope it doesn't come to that. if it does, you and yours are welcome to take refuge in Canada. i'll show you all the good places to eat and whatnot (you can bring the plasma when you come....).

fingers crossed and here's hoping we find out the result before christmas. ya think?

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