Tuesday, October 26, 2004

My Heart Going Boom-Boom-Boom...

I woke up eight years ago today with two grown men in my bed and a howling wind blowing outside my window. The men were two of my six groomsmen, all of whom slept at our apartment that night. Of the two who demanded to share the bed, one snored like a drunken hobo and the other created a rather putrid wind of his own all night long.

Neither wind was welcome. The wedding was supposed to be an outdoor ceremony and if there wasn’t a significant change in the weather during the day, it was going to be ruined.

I spent the day with my groomsmen, all of whom tried their best to settle my anxiety in their own inimitable ways. Best Man Dave went so far as to drink orange juice straight from the IHOP carafe, big streams of the stuff flowing over the rim and down the front of his shirt. I mustered a chuckle but my thoughts were with Hot Fiancé, who was no doubt fretting over the wind, as well. I worried that she’d be crushed if we had to move our ceremony indoors. She’d planned it all out so perfectly that to have her vision dashed by Mother Nature would certainly be a buzzkill.

Ultimately, the weather did indeed require us to take our outdoor plans and decorations and move them into a squished hotel ballroom with a low ceiling and a loud, humming AC unit. I was disappointed, but I took solace in the fact that we’d soon be married and I tried hard to keep a stiff upper lip for Hot Fiancé.

After I had changed into my tux and pounded down a Kamikaze shot Best Man Dave bought to calm my nerves, I decided to take a moment to myself. I took the elevator downstairs to see how the room set-up was going.

I can remember it as though it happened yesterday: I was walking down a dimly lit stucco hallway. As I approached the corner, where I was to make a left turn into the ballroom, she appeared. She was dressed in her wedding gown, her hair Aqua Netted into place, her make-up applied perfectly, her spectacular blue eyes sparkling. She looked up, saw me and wore an expression that bordered shock and relief. I felt the same way. I wasn’t supposed to see her until she walked down the aisle, but I was never happier to see her than that moment.

After that, it didn’t matter. It could have been subzero and sleeting outside and it wouldn’t have mattered. But to our great excitement, the wind died down in just enough time that the ceremony could again be moved outdoors. Yes, it was a little windy. Yes, some of our guests won’t speak to us anymore because we made them sit out in the cold to watch us get married. But those people were only invited because we were determined to get everything from Crate & Barrel that we registered for. And by the way, thanks for the wooden salad tongs, you-know-who.

Today, Hot Wife and I celebrate our eighth anniversary. In the eight years since that day, we have brought two beautiful children into our world. We have acquired a golden retriever who eats rocks and showers everything in her path with urine. We have purchased a home, a minivan, two hand mixers, 200 gallons of paint, 500 boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats and new carpet. We have eaten paella in Spain, pickles in New York City, hot dogs at Fenway Park, pizza in Chicago, whipped cream in Monterey, gnocchi in Seattle, sushi in Maui, fish tacos in Irvine and pasta in Cambria.

She has stood over my shoulder and monitored my spending at a blackjack table in Las Vegas. She let me cut short an anniversary dinner in Santa Barbara two years ago so I could watch the Angels in the World Series. She has nurtured me through two episodes of depression and I have rubbed her back during two pregnancies worth of morning sickness vomiting. She has taken back every item of clothing I have ever purchased for her. She has introduced me to a doctor of Chinese medicine who made me eat spoonsful of mixed herbs that taste like old dirt. I have introduced her to Newcastle and buffalo wings.

She reads this blog everyday and checks back often to make sure people say nice things about me. We recently paid a visit to the house she grew up in and, although she doesn’t know this, it made me well up a bit. Our kids have no idea how lucky they are to have her as their mommy, but I know how lucky I am to have her as my wife. She has a degree in nutrition and a fervent passion for fitness, but put a Slurpee or a carton of Ben & Jerry’s in front of her and she wilts like a normal person. When I have an unattractively long hair on my arm or my shoulder, she grabs it with her bare fingers and yanks on it until it comes out, roots and all. As I wince in pain, she tells me, “See? That didn’t hurt at all.”

I don’t know for certain what I did to deserve a wife as sweet and short and fit and beautiful and loving and floss-happy and supportive as mine, but I hope that I have the strength within me to keep doing it.

I love you, Hot Wife. Happy Anniversary.


At 7:03 AM, Blogger honestyrain said...

aww, for crap sake, go and make me tear up first thing in the morning.

that was lovely. happy anniversary to you and Hot Wife.

At 7:24 AM, Blogger drawdawn said...

aww that was nice. happy anniversary!

At 7:40 AM, Blogger Laura said...


Stop it already! I'm at work!!

At 9:28 AM, Blogger Dave said...

Holy crap! Do you realize you have the same anniversary as the launch of the PS2? That's right! It came out 4 years ago today. Your marriage is twice as old. Coincidence? Of course, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

Congrats, man. Oh, and hi, hot wife! See, I'm being nice (for once).

At 9:35 AM, Blogger sevans said...

It is no secret that I am not nearly as good with words as you are. I literally had tears streaming down my face. It is a good thing I had not put on make up yet. Thank you for being the best husband in the world. I love you so so much! I'll thank you more in person. ;-)

At 12:13 PM, Blogger Jon said...

Good stuff, Danny, good stuff. Love is grand ...

At 12:30 PM, Blogger plydog said...

Ah, my boy is all grown up! Who woulda thunk that the embodiment of Ichabod Crane could also be the most romantic, funny, REAL guy in the world (yes, the world -- no exaggeration!). If I could just find the heathen version of you, all would be right.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger plydog said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:57 PM, Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

You write about your wife with such honesty and amour that I often forget your clips are mostly geared toward the men's mag genre. Could they really be reading them for the articles?



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